My body gathers the pain of all the years I spent hating it,
The stretch marks – the stories I’d love to forget ˜
When my father told me no man would look at me without disgust.
When my mother wished she’d have a normal daughter.
When the stranger on the street stared at me passing by.
When I covered myself in front of every mirror.
But in the end it’s you.
You not seeing me beautiful,
and I,
knowing that I’m not
won’t take us far away in life.
The distance,
the feeling,
your smile.
The cheating,
the signs,
your hands.
The guilt,
the fate,
your silence.
And I, who can’t stop thinking about you.
You lost me on that day-my birthday –
when I was crying in the bathroom so the guests won’t hear me.
The day you returned home with no regrets on your face and I welcomed you with a kiss.
The day you laughed at my fears and I smiled and held my tears.
The day you said I am no good in front of our friends and I froze and laugh it off.
You lost me.
but I’m still here
because I lost myself years ago.
I was lost, cried on your knees
I was cold, too blind to see
the lights don’t always show to me
the dreams don’t always let me be
the love won’t always come to me
but I was lost, prayed on my knees
the blood fell down, too dark to see
Remember me.
You hit the jackpot
And I missed
You touched the sky
And I fell down
You won the game
I lost at life
You become
And so I died.
You rolled cigarettes and brought the light
In that balcony in the middle of the night
And I was looking at the dreams above
While Ella was singing ‘let’s fall in love’
Who knew I would be such a fool
To love you beyond the rules
For you was just a game of darts
I only got a broken heart
The moon was lighting up your face
The smoke was formed in faded chains
Your sins were louder than the jazz
I thought you wanted to confess
You smiled and turned your back to light
I bit my lips, pressed my legs tight
And I looked straight into your eyes
I was the one who broked the lies
Darling, I was the fire in that light
I saw smoke.
Today.
In town.
Rising from the underneath
And it reminded me of you
You who liked to see the smoke
While everyone else was on fire
You sold your life for a few dreams
I sold myself for a few drinks
You said you’ll wait for me at night
Said I’ll always be your light
The flowers in my hair are dead
They fall off, I shake my head
You said you’ll wait for me at night
Said I’ll always be your light
I can’t see you in those bars
Kissing girls like you’re a star
You said you’ll wait for me at night
Said I’ll always be your light
I don’t trust any of you
After all that I’ve been through
Said I’ll always be your light
Have you recently turned blind?
I couldn’t tell you I love him.
I could not stop your heart to dream.
I drained my tears in my sad soul.
I couldn’t tell you “please,don t go”.
I burst in tears on the streets.
I’ve made a boat out of my sheets.
My bed is just a sea of pain,
In which the rain falls on its way.
All I have done was loving you
And I just wonder if you knew
When you flirt with me those nights,
You fucked up my heart for life.
I pray to find a peaceful haze
At the end of this wild maze.
I just pray hard
My life to be
As sweet as
children’s poetry
There is the new smell in the town
Of possibilities at dawn
It broke my soul as I passed by
The market where we said goodbye
I mostly spend my nights at home
Cooking dreams for my own soul
I used to dream so hard that hurt
I went in town for a new skirt
I broke my wings in waterfalls
Of pain and sorrow-so called love
I know it’s time to change myself
Because this living’s so unsafe
I’ll just go and spend my nights
Not thinking just at wrong and rights
I’ll rest this so old soul
On the bench of someone’s goal.
I’ll make some things to run
I’ll make them want to cry
I’ll broke each stupid rule
They have never seen me cruel
I will never want to die
When I can just lie and cry
For this life is too much joy
To think about being alone
I’ll sing and dance and laugh
When they put me down I’m deaf
There’s no reason to give up
I am good and I know that.
I want my life to be as sweet
As poetry rhyme on the beat
Of my own mind pourring dreams
While my old being sings
ladameauxfleurs 